Mission to Montenegro newsletter

In our morning service, Stan finished Colossians 4 and brought out  the depth and breadth of the relationships Paul had with fellow believers as revealed in his long list of final greetings, commendations, and exhortations.
Beginning in March, Stan plans to go through the book of Jeremiah; he won't be tackling every verse but preaching through main themes.
 
After a request and prayerful consideration, Stan and Peter have put together a *very simple* Bible reading schedule that the church can follow through the week.  The goals are three-fold:  to encourage regular bible reading for those who don't know where to begin; to provide a point of commonality for the entire congregation; and to foster discussion of the bible, asking and answering questions, both at prayer meeting and in the church group chat.

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• Stan made it back just in time for our church to host the monthly All-Montenegro Prayer meeting on Sat. Jan. 31.  As part of our time together, Stan looked at several Scriptures and prayers in the Bible to remind us all of how rich our prayers can and should be.  It was an encouraging, worshipful time of unity before God Almighty.
• We will be hosting a UCCF team from the UK at the end of March.  They will be coming to reach out in partnership with EUS (student ministry) at the local university.  Please pray for all the leaders as they plan the outreaches and for the students who will be reached.
• Stan and Vicki were blessed to celebrate their 44th wedding anniversary together on Feb. 6th.   To God be the glory!

In closing, we want to say once again how truly blessed we are to be co-laborers with you all in seeing God establish His church here in Nikšić. We truly could not be doing what we are doing without you.  
We appreciate your earnest prayers, your sacrificial support, your quick notes and cards, and the blessing of working together for God to be exalted here in Montenegro. 

One with you in Christ,

Stan and Vicki Surbatovich
 

As mentioned in the past few Snapshots, when we were in the States last fall, many people asked about ordinary life here.  This always surprises me a little because it’s not as if we live in some exotic locale or a destitute third-world country; we live in Europe. 
 

However, as I’ve thought about it, there are different customs and definite cultural differences.  Over the next few months,  I’ll continue to illuminate some of them in these Snapshots.  This month:  Greeting one another.

In the States (and much of Western Europe), the firm handshake is the iconic physical act of greeting, both professionally and socially.  At church, we have handshakes and hugs.  In Japan, the bow is ubiquitous.  Here, in Montenegro, we have not only the handshake (formal, first meeting) but also the Kiss-on-the-Cheek for people you know, family and friends. ( Side note: I love this little glimpse into what the biblical command “to greet one another with a holy kiss” might have looked like.)

Men greet men, women greet women, men and women, children and adults—Greeting one another is a sign of warm welcome and respect.  Well-brought up children are taught how with all its nuances from an early age.  

This kiss-on-the-cheek is certainly chaste.  It is a manner of leaning in, with one’s head slightly turned to the side.  One can also clasp a hand or put an arm on a shoulder.  It is quick; no lingering in each other’s personal space.  For a close relative or dear friend, the greeting extends into 3 quick kisses—right cheek, left cheek, right cheek. 

Now, not only is the physical greeting of people different from our native land, but also in when and where it is used.  If you enter a room, such as a Slava gathering or church or tango club, you greet everyone whether you know them or not.  I suppose there is an upper limit—perhaps 30+ people where you would not be expected to greet  everyone *personally* but there aren’t many big-group events like that here beyond weddings.

Another difference I’ve noticed is that in the States, when we’ve gone out for a walk in a neighborhood where we are staying and pass by someone even 10+ feet away, they'll give a cheerful “Hello!” whether we know each other or not.  Here—no.  People will avoid eye contact with you as you pass them by.  But if you see someone you know—you *must* stop and greet them- a quick wave and “Hi!” does not suffice. Pleasantries (and perhaps kisses) will be exchanged. 

Now, with this in mind, let me share with you one of my early cultural adventures.  

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A number of years ago, on a sunny autumn afternoon I was shopping at Conto, our local hypermarket.  As I was winding my way up and down the aisles, I kept meeting up with a lady pushing her cart in the opposite direction.  She looked vaguely familiar but not anyone I could place with any certainty.  On about the fourth pass, I thought maybe she was looking at me like she kind of knew me, too, and couldn’t place me either.  I made sure to smile when our eyes met on the off-chance we had met before.

After that I was busy placing orders at the meat and cheese counter and didn’t see this woman again until I happened to end up right behind her in the check-out lane.  As we exchanged semi-furtive glances, I wracked my brain trying to place this woman. 

Suddenly my heart lit up with a wonderful “AHA!” moment.  Yes!  I had just recently met her when Stan and I visited Z, a Christian man who had moved back to Nikšić—she was his sister!  She hadn’t actually sat down and joined us during the visit but had pleasantly greeted us, served us coffee and a bit of mezze, too.  I couldn’t remember her name (and I suspected she didn’t remember mine either), but I was thrilled that I could finally place her.

With a big smile on my face I turned towards her just as she towards me, hands out a bit, and then....  a bit awkwardly, the kiss on the cheek.  We continued with some small talk (“What a nice day!” ; “How’s the family?”) , and as her groceries were all checked out and bagged,  she went on her way.  I basked in a moment of feeling good about ‘living like a local.’

At just this point, having finished his errands, Stan walked up to the checkout lane and caught our encounter.   He watched the woman leave and then asked me who she was.  I reminded him that she was Z’s sister.  Stan took another, longer look, and shaking his head, he turned towards me and gently told me that she was *not* the sister.  (He’d been to Z’s several times compared to my one visit). 
Oh my!  I  hugged, kissed, and greeted a random stranger. Another humbling moment of realizing that it is not always so easy to practice local customs ‘like a local.’ 

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Of course, people know from watching Hollywood movies and television shows, that Americans greet one another with a handshake.  So, that is how we are most often greeted and continue to be greeted although not exclusively, especially with older friends and older people.

Therefore, it was pretty sweet upon our return this past November, when Stan and I went to our Tango group, that we were greeted by everyone with smiles *and* kisses.  Living like a local? There’s hope yet!